HOTHLETES

They say for every “hottie”, there is a “nottie”.  Well, that is mostly the case here.  But more accurately, for every HOTHLETE, there are 6 or 7 gargoyles, behemoths, bufforillas, etc.  Bottom line is, most really attractive girls don’t play sports.  And if this page doean’t make you appreciate the HOTHLETES in the world, nothing will.

Now I know there will be those that disagree with my judgements here.  You are more than welcome to leave a comment or to email me directly.  But while I am a superficial person, rest assured that deep down I know that most, if not all, of these “beauties” have great hearts and beautiful souls.  That being said, I’d rather see a hot chick play a sport than these broads.

So, in no particular order…

Lindsey Davenport

Lindsey Davenport was a pretty damn good tennis player back in the day.  However, if I ever tuned in to watch her, I was more interested in how her opponent looked.  With as little as female tennis players wear, it just wasn’t right to have to watch Lindsey Davenport.  Not cool.

Crystl Bustos

Ok.  Here is evidence that you don’t have to be a true athlete to win a gold medal in the Olympics.  Crystl Bustos is down right scary.  She was a slugger for Team USA softball, but I expect someone who weighs a tone to hit a ton.  But if you want to see Jennie Finch, Cat Osterman, and other softball eye candy, then you ran the risk of having to see Bustos lumber down the basepaths.  Maybe I’m just jealous that she has more testosterone than me.

Misty May

Everyone loves Misty May, especially the media.  I guess I’m not drinking the cool-aid then, because I think she is fairly ugly.  But if you didn’t know better, you would think based on all the press she gets that she would be pretty hot.  Wrong.  You have to give Maxim Magazine credit for making her look half way decent here.  That’s a lot of photoshopping.  Maybe I find Misty May unattractive because she’s been in the sun too long.  As evidence by this pic.

Laure Manaudou

You would think a French swimmer who had a scandal because of leaked nude pictures would be hot.  Damn, I wish that were true.  I saw these pics, and I was hugely disappointed.  In a word, I would describe them as “raunchy”.  But hey, you be the judge.  See Laure Manaudou’s nude pics here.  But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Serena Williams

You know what the sexy thing is about Serena Williams?  Me neither.  You know what the scary thing is about Serena Williams?  EVERYTHING.  That’s all I can say about her.  That and that her Dad is a gravy-trainer.

Tonya Harding

Ah, yes.  Tonya Harding.  The star of “White Trash on Ice”.  This broad took away all the cuteness that was figure skating with one good whack to the knee.  Tonya Harding herself was never that cute.  But knowing what a nut job she was makes her even uglier.  But it’s hard to blame her for hating on Nancy Kerrigan.  She had to have a major inferiority complex, with as hot as Nancy Kerrigan was.  Kerrigan sitting next to Harding was like prime rib sitting next to a psycho-bitch ham sandwich.

Dawn Staley

What can you say about Dawn Staley?  Well, she’s not hot.  And she played in the WNBA.  Strikes 1 and 2.  Next thing you know she’ll be helping the continued existence of the money-costing women’s basketball league by coaching a women’s college basketball team.  What’s that you say, Hothletic Director?…  She is?… Seriously?…  Strike 3.  You suck, Dawn Staley.

Annika Sorenstam

Annika Sorenstam was a great female golfer.  But that is no excuse for not being hot.  Think I’m being too hard on the old lady?  Then check out this picture here.  If that isn’t the most masculine back you’ve ever seen on a chick, then you’ve got issues.  And you should be ashamed of yourself.  But only click on that link if you’re sure ou want to see it.  I had bad dreams for 3 days after seeing it.

Carmello Anthony

I can’t even try to sugar coat this one.  Carmello Anthany is hands down one of the ugliest, if not the ugliest, women in the WNBA.  The girl is hideous!  I don’t care how good she is.  She seriously fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.  Wait one sec.  The Hothletic Director has just informed me that Carmello Anthony is, in fact, a man.  And he plays in the NBA.  Wow.  I don’t know what to say?  I’ve never seen such a feminine looking dude play basketball.  What’s worse is there are more manly looking players in the WNBA.  God help us.

Cheryl Haworth

This is Cheryl Haworth.  And she can lift heavy things.  This is something a woman should’t do.  So, in short, she may not even be a woman.  She is hideous, though.  And she would also scare Al Qaeda into submission if she was dropped off in the Middle East somewhere.  Ok, ok.  I have no proof of that.  But let’s put it to the test, shall we?  Someone fire up the C-130.

Priscilla Lopes-Schliep

I know this will be hard to do, but try not to gawk at Lolo Jones.  Instead, look at the gargoyle running behind her.  Canadian Priscilla Lopes-Schliep is everything Lolo isn’t.  U-G-L-Y.  Look at her arms.  And that face.  Yikes.  No wonder Canada sucks.  Jeez.

Blanka Vlasic

Blanka Vlasic is the classic case of a “butterface”.  She has an awesome body, especially from the back.  But this Croatian high jumper is an erection assassin.  A face only a mother can love.  Seriously, though.  The girl just looks weird.  Ugly weird.

Unfortunately, more to come…